Celestial Seasonings


50 years ago I drank some Sleepytime Tea and it really worked because I literally just woke up. Scroll down to see all the things I’m trying to catch up on after five decades of peaceful snoozing.

The 1970’s

I’m not mad I missed this decade and what it would’ve done to my digestive system.

Luckily there’s Black Tea with Probiotics now. To anyone who ever had to eat a jello mold with meat in it: I feel terrible for you.

The 1980’s

From what I can tell, the 80s were mostly about bad guys with blonde hair driving convertibles and movies about high schoolers... does this check out?

I mean, there were lots of highs so I’m just glad we have Tension Tamer Tea to calm us down now.

The 1990’s

You know what’s great about the 90s? The way they were a long time ago but also yesterday. Haha ha ha.

Remember when everyone freaked out about Y2K? Lol, I don’t but it sounds intense. Glad I have this Energy Green Tea to help me keep up. Also, can we bring back butterfly clips?

The 2000’s

The 00s were kind of awkward. Do you say “the aughts” or “the o-os” or just call it “the velour jumpsuit decade”?

Fortunately I won’t lose sleep over it because now I have this Sleepytime Tea. But I will say that I would’ve been an incredible non-singing member of a less popular boy band.

The 2010’s

It’s hard to be nostalgic for the 2010s because they literally just happened but I read that on the internet after doing my own research so TBD if that’s even true.

But you know what’s great? I have this TeaWell Daily Wellness Tea that’s going to cure all my problems*.

*TeaWell Daily Wellness Tea will not cure all your problems. This is an exaggeration from a cartoon bear.

After Sleeping through the last 50 years, I have A Lot to catch up on.

So, if you need me I'll be here, living in a computer that lives in your pocket, drinking my tea and saying "no worries!" way too much.